Sex-positive, pleasure-focused
sexual health education for men who want more
Dr. Michael Stokes
Sex-positive, pleasure-focused sexual health education for men who want more
That stops now. My goal is to offer sexual health coaching for men who want:
Men’s sexual health is often misunderstood
To find ways to communicate your needs to your partner, and truly understand their needs as well.
To find ways to communicate your needs to your partner, and truly understand their needs as well.
To eliminate the shame surrounding sexual fantasy and desire.
To truly enjoy sex, whether they’re alone or partnered.
To eliminate the shame surrounding sexual fantasy and desire.
What’s the Problem with Porn?
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Start your journey toward a shame-free and pleasure-filled sex life.
To find ways to communicate your needs to your partner, and truly understand their needs as well.
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Sexual health is crucial for overall wellness. I’ll explore this often-overlooked aspect of men’s lives and show how understanding can make a big difference. Join me on a journey toward better sexual health, where knowledge and support can help you achieve the sex life you want.
Your sexuality matters, and your sexual health is a priority.
Welcome to your hub
For men’s sexual health and well-being
I know how it feels to be a man in today’s sexual world:
Talking about sex feels overwhelming, especially with your partner.
The sex education you got when you were younger doesn’t help when you’re trying to relate to your partner.
You wonder if you’re enough. Strong enough, attentive enough, good enough.
This aspect of the model supports the idea that sharing your sexuality is a choice that should be respected by others. It highlights the importance of consent and mutual respect in all sexual interactions. You have the autonomy to decide if, when, and with whom to share your sexual self, based on your comfort and trust levels.
Selective Sharing
03
You can share your sexuality as
you wish and with whom you wish.
This principle asserts that you are the sole proprietor of your sexuality. It emphasizes that your sexual identity, preferences, and expressions are inherently yours and should not be influenced or dictated by external pressures. It encourages an understanding that you have the ultimate authority over your sexual choices.
Ownership of Sexuality
01
Your sexuality belongs to you.
Every individual has the right to explore and define what sexuality means to them without judgment or coercion. This includes determining one’s sexual orientation, preferences, and what sexual fulfillment looks like. This component promotes the idea that defining one’s sexuality is a personal journey that should be guided by self-reflection and personal understanding.
Freedom to Define
02
You get to define ALL
aspects of your sexuality.
Your personal values and ethics play a crucial role in shaping your sexual decisions and setting boundaries. This component stresses the importance of aligning your sexual behaviors with your values, which helps foster a sense of integrity and satisfaction in your sexual relationships. It also supports the development of healthy boundaries that protect and respect your well-being and that of others.
Value-Guided Actions
04
Your values guide your sexual
decisions and boundaries.
Autonomous Sexuality Model
dr. mike's
What I Want for Men
There are things I want men to know, things I want men to feel, things I know men need to do, and things men should never hear again. There's no ambiguity here. This is the path to men's sexual health and wellness.
This is a place where I am upfront about real life
Dr. Michael Stokes
One of the most significant obstacles to men’s sexual health is the pervasive notion that they must adhere to rigid stereotypes of masculinity. Phrases like “man up” or “channel your masculine power” only serve to perpetuate harmful stereotypes. They stifle men’s ability to express themselves. Similarly, the idea of “big dick energy” suggests that a man’s worth is tied to his sexual prowess, neglecting the importance of emotional intimacy and mutual pleasure.
Put away these outdated ideas and focus on the important things to know, feel, and do. This is what paves the way to better sexual attitudes, experiences, and connections.
What I Want Men Never to Hear Again
You should only be focused on their pleasure
Channel your masculine power
In my practice, I aim to redefine masculinity and embrace a more holistic approach to intimate connections. It’s not just about acknowledging the importance of men’s sexual health. It’s about empowering men to actively engage in their sexual experiences in a way that honors their desires, fosters genuine connection, and prioritizes mutual pleasure.
Be present in the moment
What I Want Men to Do
Enjoy
Slow down
It’s normal to be a sexual person
It’s time for men to embrace their vulnerability, to connect deeply with themselves and their partners, and to cultivate honesty in their sexual interactions. Rather than subscribing to outdated notions of masculinity that promote stoicism and detachment, let’s encourage men to be present in the moment. Be aware of how you show up in your sexual lives, embracing authenticity and emotional connection.
What I Want Men to Feel
Honest as they show up for themselves and their partners
Connected
Vulnerable
In sexuality, there is a spectrum of desires, preferences, and identities. There’s an overarching truth: it’s entirely normal to be a sexual person. However, societal attitudes often distort this truth, leading to shame and stigma. As a result, it’s essential to recognize and advocate for the celebration of sexuality, free from judgment and condemnation. Your sexuality matters, and your sexual health is a priority.
What I Want Men to Know
There is no shame
Your sexuality should be celebrated
Be playful
Be aware of how you show up in your sexual life
Get out of your head during sex and into the sensations of the moment. You deserve a fulfilling sex life.
You are too sexual
Man up
I am Dr. Michael Stokes, the founder and leader of Mister Health. I am a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Sex Therapist based in Connecticut. I also hold a license as a Professional Counselor in Connecticut, alongside a Doctorate in Professional Counseling and Supervision. My goal is to assist men who seek support in all areas of sexual health. With extensive experience in sex therapy, I address a spectrum of sexual and intimacy issues, mental health issues, and sexual wellness.
Recognizing the sensitivity surrounding discussions on sex, I employ a down-to-earth, collaborative, and realistic therapeutic approach. I work to equip clients with new coping skills and healthy mechanisms to nurture joy and authenticity. Understanding the importance of finding the right fit, I encourage my clients to evaluate what is important for them in finding the right coaching or therapist to help them in their journey.
meet
Dr. Michael Stokes
He was able to help coach me through the constant issue of getting in my head during sex and helped me learn new ways to connect to my body, while enjoying myself. For the first time in my life, I actually can say I really enjoy having sex with my wife.
- D. P
Mike is amazing at
what he does
Testimonials
I never thought I would ever talk to someone about sex, but he made it really easy to through these issues. It was great to find someone who really focused on men’s sexual issues because I tried to bring it up with other therapists and always felt weird. If you are going through a difficult time, you def want to talk to Dr. Stokes.
- M. C
I started to see Dr. Stokes back in 2023 for issues I was really embarrassed about.
We were seriously considering divorce until we started to see the possibilities of making our marriage work. I never thought my husband would engage in marriage counseling, but he actually said he likes going. I almost passed out when I heard that! If you have a husband who hates therapy, call Dr. Mike.
- P. S
Dr. Mike helped us through a really difficult time in our life.
My philosophy revolves around an understanding of personal desires and boundaries, empowering men to assert control over their sexual experiences. I advocate for a playful exploration of intimacy, encouraging a departure from routine in favor of discovering your desires and mutual pleasure with your partner.
Are you prepared to embark on this journey toward a more satisfying and enlightened sexual experience? Let’s work together to begin your transformation, unlocking the full potential of your intimate encounters and sexual health.
Begin Your Transformation
Gentlemen, are you ready to elevate your sexual experiences to new heights?
Frequently Asked Questions
How can I work with Dr. Mike?
I offer individual coaching programs, robust keynote speeches and workshops, online courses, and plenty of free advice via my blog.
What is the difference between coaching and therapy?
Does Dr Mike do media interviews or public speaking?
Yes, I speak to various audiences and am available for interviews on a variety of men’s sexual health and LGBTQIA related issues. For more, visit my speaking page here.
Where can I learn more about Dr. Mike’s approach to men’s sexual health?
I take a sex positive, pleasure focused view of men’s sexual health. To learn more about how I help men create satisfying sex lives and relationships read his blog here.
What is porn addiction?
Pornography addiction happens when a person isn’t able to stop watching porn and their use becomes compulsive, eventually interfering with other aspects such as your personal life, relationships, and work life.
This is also referred to as online porn addiction or problematic porn use, if left unchecked, it can develop into more serious problems. There is some debate about whether porn addiction is real, and you can read more about my take on that here.
Why do men need specialized sexual health care?
For many men, discussing sexual health can be a sensitive and uncomfortable topic. Men benefit from talking to someone who "gets it" and understands the societal standards and expectations placed upon men with regard to relationships and sex. To learn more, read my blog.
Does Dr. Mike take insurance?
No, coaching is not covered by insurance. Because my programs are targeted to your specific needs, and geared toward accomplishing your goals, coaching clients achieve faster results than with traditional therapy.
