So, you’re pregnant (or your partner is), and now you’re wondering: What happens to our sex life? Will it disappear into the abyss of prenatal vitamins and morning sickness? Fear not! Pregnancy and the postpartum period bring many changes, but they don’t have to be the end of intimacy. This blog will help you understand the physical and emotional shifts, tackle them together, and hopefully share a laugh or two along the way.

Understanding the Physiological Changes That Impact Intimacy

First things first, pregnancy is a big deal for her body. Each trimester comes with its own unique set of changes, and knowing what to expect can help you both navigate these shifts together while keeping your connection strong.

Sex During Pregnancy: What to Expect in Each Trimester

Yes, you can have sex during pregnancy! Most couples can continue an active sex life, provided there are no medical complications. But understanding how her body is changing can help you both enjoy the experience safely and comfortably.

First Trimester: The Early Pregnancy Rollercoaster

Welcome to the first trimester. You might ask: “Why is everything suddenly so unpredictable?” Her body is now a chemistry lab of hormones, with pregnancy symptoms coming in hot. This can lead to some big shifts in her sex drive and overall comfort levels.

Hormonal Changes and Sexual Desire: Thanks to skyrocketing levels of estrogen and progesterone, her sex drive might feel like it’s on a rollercoaster. She could be in the mood one minute and totally uninterested the next. Be patient, be flexible, and go with the flow.

Pregnancy Symptoms to Be Aware Of: Symptoms like morning sickness, fatigue, and breast tenderness might make the idea of sex less appealing at times. If she’s not in the mood, respect it when she is, great! Keep communication open, and be ready to adjust to her needs.

Focus on Comfort: Positions like spooning or lying on your side can help avoid putting pressure on her sensitive areas. And remember, sexual activity doesn’t have to mean penetrative sex. Explore other ways to connect, like oral sex, mutual touching, or a long cuddle session.

Second Trimester: The Honeymoon Phase of Pregnancy

Ah, the second trimester, often called the “honeymoon phase” of pregnancy. She might start feeling more energetic and less nauseous, which could mean a boost in her sex drive.

Increased Sexual Desire and Activity: With nausea and fatigue easing up, her libido might come roaring back. And that increased blood flow to her pelvic area can enhance sensitivity and arousal, making sex feel even better than before.

Explore Different Sex Positions: As the baby bump grows, some positions will feel better and be more comfortable than others. Encourage trying new moves like side-lying, her on top, or anal sex. Avoid any positions that put direct pressure on her belly. This can be a fun, experimental time together.

Check for Safety Concerns: If her healthcare provider has mentioned conditions like placenta previa or a risk of preterm labor, listen up. You might need to modify activities or take a break from certain things. Never hesitate to ask questions; your healthcare provider is there to help you both stay safe and informed.

Third Trimester: Adjusting to a Growing Belly

By the third trimester, your partner might feel the weight of the world, or at least, a baby. Her growing belly, weight gain, and fatigue might make sex seem like the last thing on her mind, but don’t count it out!

Navigating Sex in the Third Trimester: Sex can still be on the menu, but comfort is more important than ever. Sexual positions like spooning or side-lying can reduce strain on her back and accommodate a larger belly.

Be Mindful of Physical Changes: With her increased weight and a big belly, some positions just won’t work, and that’s okay. Focus on what feels good for her, which could mean non-penetrative activities, oral sex, or just being close and cuddling with her.

Look Out for Warning Signs: If she experiences any symptoms like vaginal bleeding, amniotic fluid leakage, or unusual discomfort, stop and consult your ob-gyn right away. Safety first, sexy time second!

General Tips for Sex During Pregnancy

• Keep the Lines Open: Communication is key! Ask her what feels good, and be ready to adapt to her wants and needs. Pregnancy is a time of constant change. Today’s “yes” might be tomorrow’s “no,” and that’s totally normal.

• Prioritize Her Comfort: Support her with pillows, take things slow, and be willing to try new things. This isn’t the time to rush through anything.

• Stay Open-Minded: You might find new ways to enjoy each other’s company that you hadn’t considered before. A nice back rub with oil or lotion, a cozy cuddle, or simply holding hands can be just as intimate as anything else.

Emotional Support: The Real Glue in Your Relationship

Her body is doing some pretty incredible things, and she needs your emotional support now more than ever. Here’s how to be there for her, even when you’re navigating some unfamiliar territory.

• Listen and Be Present: Make time for real conversations about how she’s feeling, both physically and emotionally. This is a team effort, and sharing your experiences can help you both feel connected.

• Find New Ways to Connect: If sex isn’t always on the table, that’s okay. Focus on other forms of intimacy like cuddling, kissing, or simply spending time together doing things you both love.

• Remember, It’s Not All About Sexual Intercourse: Sexual satisfaction is more than just sex. It’s about feeling loved, valued, and understood by your partner. Find creative ways to show her how much she means to you, even if that looks like a Netflix binge with all her favorite snacks.

Reconnecting Postpartum: A New Kind of Normal

Congratulations! The baby’s here, and you’re both navigating a whole new world. Intimacy after childbirth might look different, and that’s perfectly normal. Here’s how to support her as she recovers and find new ways to reconnect.

Physical Recovery and Postpartum Sexual Health

After childbirth, her body needs time to heal. Every woman’s experience is unique, so give her the space to recover at her own pace. She will let you know when she is ready.

Take It Slow: Most healthcare providers recommend waiting about six weeks postpartum before resuming penetrative sex, but even then, it’s crucial to listen to her body and comfort levels. Don’t rush; there’s plenty of time.

Addressing Postpartum Changes: Hormonal shifts postpartum can lead to vaginal dryness. Keep some lubricant handy to make things more comfortable, and don’t be afraid to take it slow with lots of foreplay.

Ease Back into Intimacy: Start with non-penetrative activities, like touching, kissing, or mutual masturbation, to slowly rebuild intimacy. Think of it as finding your rhythm again, there’s no rush.

Emotional Reconnection: Building a New Foundation

Bringing a new baby home is a massive adjustment, and it’s easy to feel disconnected amidst the diapers and sleepless nights.

Manage Your Expectations: Postpartum intimacy will look different from pre-pregnancy times, and that’s okay. Be patient with yourselves and each other, and remember, this is all a normal part of the process.

Create New Routines: Maybe it’s sharing a morning coffee or a quick walk with the baby, but find new ways to connect with her daily. Small moments add up over time and she will notice and she will be grateful.

Be Her Biggest Cheerleader: Her body has been through a lot, and she might feel self-conscious about all the changes. Your encouragement, compliments, and loving support are more important now than ever.

Seek Professional Help If Needed

If things aren’t quite coming back together as expected, don’t hesitate to suggest seeing a healthcare provider or therapist specializing in sexual health. Sometimes, a little guidance from a pro can make all the difference.

Embrace the Changes and Grow Together

Sexual adjustments during pregnancy and postpartum are normal and, with the right approach, can bring you closer together. Remember, it’s not about getting back to where you were, it’s about moving forward into this new phase with love, patience, and a sense of humor. Stay flexible, keep communicating, and enjoy the journey because it’s one you’re on together.

I’m Dr. Michael Stokes, and I empower men to take control of their sexual health. Join me and start working toward a healthier and better-informed sex life. Contact me today.

References

Ensiyeh Jenabi, Zohreh Salimi, Saeid Bashirian, Salman Khazaei, Erfan Ayubi, The risk factors associated with placenta previa: An umbrella review, Placenta, Volume 117,2022, Pages 21-27, ISSN 0143-4004, https://doi.org/10.1016/j.placenta.2021.10.009. (https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0143400421006184)

Eddy, B. P., & Fife, S. T. (2021). Active Husband Involvement During Pregnancy: A Grounded Theory. Family Relations, 70(4), 1222-1237. https://doi.org/10.1111/fare.12486