Parenting is a rewarding, demanding, exciting, exhausting, and wholly unpredictable journey. Amid the rush, many aspects of life can change, including your sexual activity. As responsibilities pile up, many couples find it challenging to maintain an active and satisfying sex life, but it is possible. 

In this blog, we’ll explore how to keep the spark alive through effective time management, practical intimacy tips, the professional help that is available, and specific advice for men. Parenting will be a full-time vocation, but a good sex life is still achievable. With proper sex education and planning, you can find your alone time and enjoy a healthy sex life.

Sex Life Standards

A common question among couples is, “How often does the average couple have sex?” While this might seem like an easy question, the answer is actually quite complex. Research shows that there isn’t one correct answer to how often couples have sex. This number can be different for everyone. Sexual desire can change throughout life and according to specific circumstances.

Sexual frequency can vary a lot from couple to couple, depending on many factors like age, health, sex drive, and how long the couple has been together. Other factors sometimes leading to less sex include childcare issues, postpartum depression, sleep deprivation, and many other life circumstances. By honestly looking at these issues, couples can better understand what might be “normal” and set realistic expectations for their sexual relationship.

The most important thing about sexual frequency is that both partners are happy with their sexual relationship. Open communication about sexual needs and desires is crucial. Couples should work on staying connected and making sure their sexual relationship is satisfying for both of them. Remember, what works for one couple might not work for another. Each person’s love language, desire for foreplay, and sexual desire can all affect sexual activity. There is no “right” amount of sex. So, talk openly and set expectations that are fulfilling for both of you.

Making Time for Intimacy

In all the parenting chaos, it’s easy to move sex to the back burner. Yet, it doesn’t have to be that way. Effective time management makes it possible for couples to stay connected. Here are some strategies to help you find that time:

Schedule Intimate Time: Just like you schedule doctor appointments and school events, it’s important to prioritize time for intimacy. Scheduling sex for specific times can ensure it happens regularly. It could involve an earlier wake up time or scheduling a babysitter. Whatever it takes, treat this time as seriously as any other important appointment.

Seize Spontaneous Moments: Take advantage of unexpected free moments to connect. Whether it’s during a child’s nap time or while they’re watching a movie, quickies can bring a sense of closeness and intimacy.

Share Parenting Duties: Divide and conquer parenting tasks to free up time. New parents have a lot to discuss. Communicate about household duties and develop a plan to get them done. When both partners share the load, it prevents burnout and creates opportunities for downtime together. This teamwork can help you both feel more relaxed and available for sex.

Create a Routine: Establishing a daily routine can help manage expectations and free up mental space for romance. Knowing when tasks will be completed can reduce stress and make it easier to relax and connect at the end of the day.

Incorporating these strategies can help you maintain your connection and ensure your sexual relationship remains a priority.

Intimacy Tips

Maintaining intimacy is more than the physical act of sex. It involves emotional connection and communication. Here are some practical tips to help couples stay close in the hectic stages of life:

Communicate Openly: Talk about your needs, desires, and boundaries. Open communication builds a deeper emotional connection, which can make physical intimacy more meaningful and frequent. Sharing your thoughts and feelings helps build the love life you want.

Prioritize Affection: Show your love through small gestures like holding hands, hugging, cuddling, or giving a simple kiss. These actions can strengthen your bond and keep a sense of closeness throughout the day. Even little moments of affection can make a big difference.

Keep the Romance Alive: Surprise each other with little acts of love. This could be a handwritten note, a favorite treat, or planning a surprise date night. These gestures show appreciation and can keep the passion in your relationship.

Explore New Things Together: Try new activities both inside and outside the bedroom. This could mean picking up a new hobby together or exploring different ways to be intimate. Novel and fun experiences can bring excitement to your connection. Search articles or social media posts to get ideas that excite you.

Stay Physically Healthy: Regular exercise and a healthy diet can improve your energy levels and self-confidence. Feeling good about yourself can positively impact your sex life and overall relationship. Maintaining a healthy body image helps you feel more vibrant and connected.

By following these tips, you can maintain a strong, intimate relationship that goes beyond just physical acts. You can develop a deeper emotional and romantic connection.

Strengthening Your Bond Through Therapy

Couples therapy can be a valuable resource for all relationship issues, including maintaining sex after kids. Here’s how it can help strengthen your bond:

Facilitating Communication: A therapist can help couples develop effective communication skills. This allows both partners to express their needs and concerns more openly and constructively. Improved communication can lead to a deeper understanding and a stronger emotional connection.

Learning New Techniques: Therapists can introduce couples to new techniques for enhancing intimacy and maintaining a healthy sexual relationship. These techniques are tailored to the couple’s unique circumstances, helping them find what works best for them.

Creating a Stronger Connection: Through therapy, couples can learn how to better support each other and understand each other’s needs. This leads to a stronger emotional bond and a more fulfilling relationship overall.

Promoting Long-term Relationship Health: Therapy not only addresses immediate issues but also promotes long-term relationship health. It equips couples with strategies to handle future challenges, ensuring that their bond remains strong over time.

By seeking therapy, couples can strengthen their bond, improve their communication, and enhance their intimacy, leading to a healthier and more satisfying relationship.

Relationship Advice for Men

Men play a crucial role in maintaining a healthy sexual relationship. All the guidelines listed here apply to both partners in the relationship. Yet there are a few specific items that men would be wise to focus on for a good sex life: 

Be Attentive and Present: Active listening and showing genuine interest in your partner’s daily experiences can significantly enhance emotional intimacy. Pay attention to what they say, ask questions, and remember important details. This makes your partner feel valued and understood.

Share Responsibilities: Take an active role in parenting and household duties. It may be the last thing you want to do, but when both partners share the workload, it reduces stress and creates more opportunities for intimacy. Helping out more at home shows that you’re a team player and that you care about your partner’s well-being.

Express Appreciation: Regularly acknowledge and appreciate your partner. Simple acts like saying “thank you” for their efforts or complimenting them can foster a positive environment where intimacy can thrive. Showing gratitude can make your partner feel loved and cherished.

Be Supportive: Show support for your partner’s goals and dreams. Encourage them in their pursuits and be there for them during tough times. Being a supportive partner strengthens your bond and shows that you are committed to the relationship.

Maintaining a vibrant sex life and fulfilling parenting duties is a balancing act that requires time management, open communication, and sometimes professional support. By making intentional efforts, men can continue to nurture their intimate connection, enriching both their relationship and family life.

Contact Me to Get the Help You Need

I’m Dr. Michael Stokes, and my philosophy focuses on understanding personal desires and boundaries, empowering men to take control of their sexual experiences. I advocate for playful exploration of intimacy, encouraging you to break away from routine and discover mutual pleasure with your partner. Join us today and start your transformation. Unlock the full potential of your intimate connection and sexual encounters. It is possible for parents to maintain a thriving sex life. I know how to help.