Very few things in life thrill a man as much as orgasms do.

I know because I’m a guy myself. If you’re reading this, chances are you’re interested in learning more about the male orgasm. More specifically, you want to go beyond the basic articles you’ve come across on the internet with barebones information on this subject. Well, you’re in the right place!

With National Orgasm Day looming around the corner (July 31), I thought it made sense to address this popular topic. I’ve noticed that lots of men talk about orgasms, but few understand the inner workings and how they impact them. What do you do when things aren’t quite right? What are some signs things might be out of sorts? In this post, I address:

• What a male orgasm is
• Stages of a male orgasm
• The difference between ejaculation versus an orgasm
• The types of male orgasms
• Health benefits of orgasms
• Orgasm problems
• Ways to have better orgasms

Let’s jump right in!

What is a male orgasm?

I’m going to do my best to be informative and concise without being too nerdy or academic about what a male orgasm is. In short terms, it’s a complicated process that involves your brain and body.

Within your brain lies something called the pituitary gland. This gland, which is about the size of a pea, plays a crucial role in regulating hormone production from most of the other glands in your body (we won’t get into those). Among the hormones the pituitary gland manages is testosterone. Your body uses testosterone to stimulate sperm production in your testicles. Testosterone is also known to increase energy levels, improve moods, and enhance your sex drive, aka your libido.

With some form of sexual arousal, an erection is achieved, eventually ending with an orgasm followed by ejaculation (more on this topic later). On average, it takes guys five to seven minutes to reach orgasm and ejaculation from sexual stimulation. The actual range is much broader—anywhere from one to thirty minutes.

Stages of a male orgasm

Male orgasms consist of four phases or stages —arousal, plateau, orgasm, and resolution and refraction.

Arousal

During arousal, your body and brain use various cues to release a chemical called acetylcholine, a neurotransmitter that leads to muscle contractions. This is what causes your penis to enlarge and stiffen. Other signs you’re aroused include increased heart rate or retraction of your scrotum (the sac holding your testicles) closer to your body.

Plateau

The plateau stage happens right before an orgasm, sometimes referred to as a pre-orgasm. During this phase—which lasts anywhere from 30 seconds to 2 minutes,

• Your heartbeat rapidly increases

• Your blood pressure and body temperature rise

• Pelvic thrusts become involuntary, increasing in intensity and speed

• Leakage might come out of your urethra (the tube that semen and urine exit the body out of). This leakage is called seminal fluid

Orgasm

The orgasm phase is divided into two parts —emission and ejaculation.

During emission, semen travels into the urethra and close to the penis’s tip. Your sympathetic nervous system, which connects internal organs to the brain, also controls your rectum, seminal vesicles, and spinal cord to prepare for ejaculation.

During ejaculation, strong contractions in your penis and pelvic floor muscles propels semen from the body. Other organs, such as your seminal vesicles and prostate gland, also play an important role here. These contractions are a major part of what makes orgasms feel so amazing. For most males, orgasms last between five and 20 seconds.

Resolution and Refraction

Resolution happens after an orgasm. It’s when your penis starts to lose its erection. Usually, this goes hand-in-hand with drowsiness or feeling deeply relaxed.

Refraction, aka the refractory period, happens when you can’t sustain an erection, even with sexual stimulation. Refractions last several minutes or several hours. How long depends on your age and other factors. Refractory periods are not cause for concern, rather, they’re a necessary part of how your body takes care of itself. If you want to continue engaging sexually during your refractory period, finding ways to enjoy pleasure without involving your penis is a great option.

Ejaculation vs. orgasm

A lot of guys I talk to want to know the difference between ejaculation and having an orgasm. Others can’t figure out the distinction when asked. So, I thought it made sense to include actual definitions from people nerdier than me in words you can understand.

According to the National Center for Biotechnology Information, aka the NCBI, making a distinction between orgasms and ejaculation is difficult. The organization, backed by the government, defines orgasm as an intense transient peak sensation of intense pleasure creating an altered state of consciousness associated with reported physical changes—science speak for something that makes you feel really good, altering reality while it happens.

The NCBI defines ejaculation as a complex physiological process composed of two phases—emission and expulsion—influenced by intricate neurological and hormonal pathways. Simply put, ejaculating is a detailed physical phenomenon consisting of two distinct phases, similar to the arousal and plateau stages mentioned earlier.

There you have it. An orgasm is the intense pleasure you get from ejaculating. Ejaculating is when you actually expel seminal fluid from your penis.

Premature ejaculation is worth mentioning here as well. The American Psychological Association, commonly referred to as the APA, defines this as ejaculating occurring with minimal to no sexual stimuli . It happens before, on, or shortly after penetration—or simply sooner than you wanted it to.

Premature ejaculation is a form of sexual dysfunction, which is any sexually related disorder that creates problems with your sexual-response cycle. In other words, it impacts your sex life, drastically undercutting any type of sexual pleasure you experience.

What is an ejaculatory orgasm?

An ejaculatory orgasm is just what it sounds like—it’s having an orgasm while you ejaculate at the same time, releasing semen in the process. For most guys, this is how the majority of their orgasms play out, but that isn’t always the case. Believe it or not, there’s more than one type of orgasm a guy can have.

Types of male orgasms

The most typical orgasm men experience is an ejaculatory one, but they aren’t the only type. Read on to learn more about the other ways men can enjoy orgasm.

Blended orgasm

Blended orgasms happen when you orgasm in more than one way simultaneously. Usually, for this to happen, a combination of penile and prostate play takes place. When done right, this leads to an intense full body orgasm you feel in your pelvic floor muscles and all throughout your spinal cord.

Getting the timing right is key to success here.

Energy orgasm

Energy orgasms are another type of full body orgasm. Also referred to as cosmic or spiritual orgasms, they require you to master your sexual energy in order to climax without any sexual stimulation. There isn’t much scientific evidence out there attesting to how successful energy orgasms—or any orgasms—are without any form of male ejaculation. Do with that what you will.

Pelvic orgasm

Pelvic orgasms stimulate your pelvic floor muscles and stem from edging—or bringing yourself close to climaxing without actually coming. Give yourself some time to calm down, then repeat the process. Doing this makes pelvic orgasms more intense and pleasurable.

Prostate orgasm

These types of orgasms are a result of activating the prostate gland, located right under your bladder in your anus. Much of the semen you produce when you ejaculate comes from your prostate. This is known as the male G-spot. With the right amount of stimulation, you can climax without involving your penis at all.

Retrograde orgasm

During retrograde orgasms, semen gets into your bladder instead of shooting out your penis. You still climax and get the good feelings, but little to no semen comes out (retrograde ejaculation). In small quantities, these aren’t an issue. If it starts happening on a regular basis, you may want to seek medical attention, especially if you plan to become a parent.

Men and multiple orgasms

It’s possible for men to have more than one orgasm—and not in a fairytale land far away. Multiple orgasms are sometimes called multi-ejaculatory orgasms. As the name suggests, it involves climaxing multiple times over a short period of time. Multi-ejaculatory orgasms are either condensed or sporadic.

Sporadic multiple orgasms happen within minutes of each other. Condensed multiple orgasms, on the other hand, are bursts of two to four orgasms that happen either within seconds of each other or up to two minutes apart.

Male orgasms vs female orgasms

When it comes to similarities between male and female orgasms, both sexes experience pulsating contractions. That’s the only thing they have in common.

Women have longer lasting, more intense orgasms. Usually, they stay sexually aroused longer as well. Also, women squirt as a form of ejaculation, but the liquid they expel is either urine or fluid from a nearby gland.

With men, it’s much more likely they’ll have an orgasm during sex. However, staying sexually aroused is almost always out of the question due to refractory periods. And yes, when men ejaculate, they release semen instead of urine or bodily fluids.

Health benefits of orgasms

If you’re skeptical about there being any potential benefits to orgasms, I understand. Most guys think the only good that comes from them is eventually passing out without any recollection of when that happened. Believe it or not, there are several benefits that go beyond peaceful sleep.

Orgasms are great at reducing pain. They also help with hormonal balances and support your cardiovascular health. Male orgasms are a great way to lower your risk of prostate cancer. For instance, in one study involving around 30,000 men surveyed over an 18-year period, those who ejaculated frequently were less likely to develop prostate cancer.

Male orgasm problems

All men, no matter how seasoned they are in the bedroom, have hiccups and issues every now and then; this is normal and to be expected. If you’re dealing with any of the problems listed below, seeking medical help might be warranted.

Erectile dysfunction

Erectile dysfunction, commonly referred to as ED, is one of the most common male orgasm issues on the planet. ED involves trouble getting or keeping an erection and oftentimes goes hand-in-hand with low sex drive, premature ejaculation, and other forms of sexual dysfunction.

Delayed ejaculation

Delayed ejaculation happens when it takes too long or too much effort to have an orgasm. The scientific name for this is anorgasmia. Typical causes include diabetes, prostate gland or bladder surgeries, multiple sclerosis, spinal cord injuries, and older age.

Anejaculation

Anejaculation happens when you’re erect but unable to have an orgasm. It has the same causes as delayed ejaculations with the addition of one—inadequate sexual arousal.

Dry orgasm

Dry orgasms happen when little to no semen comes out of your penis during an ejaculatory orgasm. Physical complications such as low testosterone, an enlarged prostate, or sperm duct blockage contribute to dry orgasms.

Priapism

Priapism is when your penis remains erect without any stimulation for more than four hours. Causes include genital trauma, substance abuse (cocaine), blood disorders, and antipsychotics among others.

Mental health struggles—like anxiety, depression, stress, or trauma—should also be factored in when it comes to orgasm problems. If your mental health is lacking, it’s going to impact your ability to ejaculate and have an orgasm.

Ways to have better orgasms

So, you’ve read through all of this and now want to know what you can do to have better orgasms. Consider the following suggestions.

Pelvic floor exercises

Pelvic floor exercises are also known as Kegel exercises. These workouts strengthen the muscles in your pelvis, right below your abdomen. Doing them improves the duration and intensity of your orgasms. To do Kegel exercises, tense the muscles you use to stop urinating. Hold for three seconds, then release and repeat ten times.

The goal is to get to a point where you can tense those muscles up for at least ten seconds. As an added bonus, try this when you’re actually peeing—just do your best to avoid making a mess!

Consider using sex toys

Sex toys can definitely help you have better orgasms. When traditional sex becomes commonplace or starts to feel dull, sex toys are an ingenious way to spice things up. You can find products for solo or partnered play and use anal toys, gay toys, male masturbators, or penis pumps for starters.

Sex toys are a great way to explore the various male erogenous zones. If you’re unfamiliar with that phrase, erogenous zones are parts of your body with heightened sensitivity. Stimulating these zones leads to some form of a sexual response, whether it be arousal, relaxation, or an orgasm.

For men, erogenous zones include your penis, glans (the funny looking bulbous structure at the very tip of your penis), the scrotum (it houses your testicles), perineum (the space between your anus and genitals), and anus. Stimulating the prostate—either through massage or anal sex—is also considered an erogenous zone.

Try out sexual medicines

Medications for ejaculation disorders such as Viagra, Cialis, and Avanafil go a long way to treating any forms of sexual dysfunction you’re experiencing. Sometimes, all it takes is a pill to fix the issues you’re dealing with.

Consult a medical professional 

I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention urology here. It’s a branch of medicine focused on issues with men’s urinary tracts and reproductive tracts and includes problems with your kidneys, prostate, bladder, and much more. Urologists, then, are medical professionals who address urinary tract and reproductive tract complications in both men and women.

In men specifically, urologists can help treat reproductive tract problems like prostate cancer or erectile dysfunction. They also remove blockages impacting your sexual functioning. For the most part, these are located in your urinary tract and are caused by build ups or clogs.

Online therapy is another worthwhile consideration. Hims, a company dedicated to online therapy, is a great option. The company specializes in everything wellness—hair health, mental health, weight loss, and of course, sex. They even connect you with licensed providers in the event you end up needing medication and ship it directly to you. If discretion matters, I highly recommend looking into their offerings.

You deserve a happy sex life

I hope, by this point, you’ve learned a thing or two about male orgasms that’ll improve the quality of your sex life. As an AASECT certified sex therapist, I specialize in helping men improve their sexual health and overall wellness in ways that go beyond what you’d get from a general therapist.

Whether you want to masturbate less, increase the amount of sexual activity you engage in, or decrease your solo play, I help with anything and everything related to improving your sexual health. That includes more sensitive issues like delayed ejaculation or premature ejaculation.

Book a free consultation call with me now to discuss your options. You deserve a fulfilling sex life!

References

Alwaal, A., Breyer, B. N., & Lue, T. F. (2015). Normal male sexual function: Emphasis on orgasm and ejaculation. National Library of Medicine. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.fertnstert.2015.08.033

(n.d.). Premature Ejaculation. APA Dictionary of Psychology. https://dictionary.apa.org/premature-ejaculation