How to Talk to Your Doctor About Sexual Health (Without the Awkwardness)
Let’s face it – talking about sexual health with your doctor can feel like you’re walking into a room full of spotlights with nowhere to hide. But the reality is, if you’re dealing with erectile dysfunction, low testosterone, or any other men’s sexual health concerns, having an open conversation with your healthcare provider is crucial to maintaining your overall health. So, let’s tackle this topic head-on with a little humor to lighten the mood. Here’s how to make your next doctor’s visit a little less awkward and a lot more productive!
Preparing for Your Appointment: More Than Just Remembering to Wear Pants

Preparation is the secret sauce to a successful conversation about sexual health. Here’s how you get ready:
- Identify Your Concerns: Before your appointment, take a second to jot down everything that’s been on your mind – anything from erectile dysfunction, low testosterone, or premature ejaculation, to changes in sexual desire or how your new meds are affecting things downstairs. Think of it like making a grocery list, but instead of “milk” and “bread,” it’s “testosterone levels” and “penile health.”
- Review Your Medical History: Think about how your overall health might be playing a part in your sexual function. High blood pressure, heart disease, diabetes, or even that pesky high cholesterol could be lurking behind your sexual health concerns. Don’t forget any urological procedures you’ve had, like a vasectomy, or conditions like Peyronie’s disease, which can also impact your sex life.
- Bring a List of Medications: Gather all the medications, supplements, and recreational drugs you’re taking – yes, even the “all-natural” ones. Certain meds, like antidepressants, can have sneaky side effects that mess with your sexual function. And don’t forget to mention any testosterone treatments or those little blue pills (Viagra, Cialis) that may or may not be stashed in your nightstand drawer.
- Set Clear Goals: Decide what you want to achieve from the appointment. Are you looking for a diagnosis, treatment options, or just trying to make sure you’re not imagining things? Knowing your goals helps guide the conversation and boosts effective communication with your doctor.
Questions to Ask: Because “What’s Up, Doc?” Won’t Get You Far

Now that you’ve prepared, it’s time to get the answers you need. Here are some questions that will keep the conversation flowing:
- What Could Be Causing My Symptoms?: Is it low testosterone, poor blood flow, or is it stress? Understanding the root cause of issues like erectile dysfunction or low sex drive is the first step to finding the right solution.
- What Are My Treatment Options?: Ask about all the possible routes, from simple lifestyle changes to prescription meds (like Viagra or Cialis) to advanced therapies such as penile implants or testosterone replacement therapy. Don’t be afraid to get specific. And don’t forget to ask what’s covered by your insurance and what isn’t.
- How Do My Other Health Conditions Affect My Sexual Health?: If you have health issues like diabetes, high cholesterol, or vascular problems, ask how they might be impacting your sex life. A lot of these conditions can affect blood vessels and blood flow, which are critical for healthy sexual function.
- Are There Side Effects to the Treatments?: Whether it’s medication, surgery, or hormone therapy, make sure you know the potential side effects. After all, no one wants a “cure” that brings more trouble than it’s worth!
- Should I See a Specialist?: Sometimes, your primary care doctor might suggest seeing a urologist or another specialist if your condition requires more in-depth expertise.
Addressing Privacy Concerns: Your Doctor Isn’t a Gossip Columnist
Talking about sexual health might feel like you’re sharing your deepest, darkest secrets, but remember, your doctor hears it all but is not writing a tell-all. Here’s how to keep your cool:
- Understand Your Rights: Your doctor is bound by confidentiality laws. Anything you share stays private, even those stories from your wild college days. Your health privacy is a priority, so be as open as possible.
- Choose a Comfortable Environment: If sitting in the doctor’s office under bright lights makes you feel like you’re in an interrogation room, ask about telehealth options. Talking over the phone or via zoom might make discussing these things a little less intimidating.
- Bring a Support Person: If you’re feeling particularly nervous, consider bringing a trusted friend or your partner. Just make sure it’s someone you’re comfortable with. Maybe not your accountant.
- Be Direct: Yes, it will feel awkward at first, but being straightforward about your concerns will help your doctor provide the best care for your needs. Really, they’ve heard it all before—you won’t shock them!
Discussing Treatment Options: From Pills to Implants, and Everything in Between
Your doctor will likely present a range of treatment options depending on your specific concerns. Here’s what you might expect:
- Medications: Popular options include PDE5 inhibitors like Viagra or Cialis. They’re great for many men, but they can come with uncomfortable side effects like headaches or dizziness. Always discuss potential side effects and how they might interact with your existing medications, especially if you have heart disease or high blood pressure.
- Hormone Therapy: If your testosterone levels are lower than the your cell phone battery after a TikTok binge, testosterone replacement therapy will likely be suggested. But beware of the side effects, and keep in mind, it’s not a fountain of youth, it’s a medical treatment with pros and cons.
- Advanced Treatments: For more severe cases, more invasive options like penile implants or injections may be considered. It sounds intimidating, but they can offer significant improvements for men who need them.
- Lifestyle Changes: Sometimes, the best treatment isn’t a pill or a procedure but changes in diet, exercise, reducing alcohol consumption, and managing stress (haha right). These can help improve your sexual function and your overall wellness.
Understanding the Impact of Mental Health: It’s All in Your Head (Sometimes)
Your mental health and sexual health are more intertwined than you may think. High stress levels, anxiety, and depression can lead to sexual health problems or make existing issues even worse.
- Talk About Mental Health: If you’re experiencing big stress or anxiety, especially related to sexual performance, it’s important to be open about it. Your doctor might suggest seeing a mental health professional, adjusting your meds, or trying some relaxation techniques.
- Ask About Medication Side Effects: Some antidepressants can cause sexual dysfunction. If you suspect your medication is affecting your sex drive, ask if there are alternatives with fewer sexual side effects.
Keep Calm, Be Open, and Talk On
Discussing sexual health with your healthcare provider might feel like an awkward encounter, but it’s a necessary step toward maintaining your overall health and well-being. By preparing for your appointments, asking the right questions, and addressing any health privacy concerns, you can turn a potentially embarrassing conversation into a positive, productive one. Remember, your doctor is there to help you—no topic is off-limits when it comes to your health!
I’m Dr. Michael Stokes, and my philosophy is understanding men’s sexual health, desires, and boundaries, empowering men to take control of their sexual experiences. Sexual health is an essential piece of that goal!
Let me help you work toward a healthier and better-informed sex life. Unlock the full potential to thrive. Contact me today!
Resources
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Corona, G., Rastrelli, G., Sparano, C., Carinci, V., Casella, G., Vignozzi, L., … Maggi, M. (2024). Cardiovascular safety of testosterone replacement therapy in men: an updated systematic review and meta-analysis. Expert Opinion on Drug Safety, 23(5), 565–579. https://doi.org/10.1080/14740338.2024.2337741